Monday, September 27, 2010

It's falling apart. He's trying to get us, to break us(Sages)...Jay's got a timebomb, Shaun's down, and I'm being lured into a trap. Stupid stupid's in my skull now, a stupid lure. I WANT to go into that shed, charge into the /Construct's/ home and...and...I don't know. Ugh. Hard to think straight these days on Him. I just start getting angry and hostile and an irrational desire to attackattackattack...I hate Him. I hate him for what he did to Alexis. What he's done to Shaun. He knows that this is how to get us...appeal to Jay's nature as a scientist, subverted Shaun, and to me...well...offer me a fight that I can't win.

This is worse than being Turned.

Although, maybe it would be better that way. I(Sage) mean, what would it be? Pain, and then my soul would be beyond his reach. Valhalla. Heheh...a flame of glory. Ugh...nononono. Can't think like that. Have to be rational. I loved the RC car tactic, use that first. Don't be suckered.

You know, I've(Sage) always been told that I was lucky. I remember that day in the park. Nasty accident, drunk driver smashed really hard into a construction site next to it. Things went flying...a kid got impaled by a piece of rebar. I was on the merry-go-round with another girl. We were going so fast...a piece of cinderblock...several...hurled through the air. The girl was nailed right in the head. She survived, but she's brain damaged. I span around and around...and nothing touched me. Didn't even get my clothes dusty or bloody.

They checked me out, saw that I(Sage) was fine and left me on a bench to wait for mom to come back from Grocery shopping. I watched all of them, crying and bleeding, ambulances and police, reporters and news vans. I was fine.

I'm(Sage) always fine.

Other children wailed and screamed, invented monsters to cope with the trauma, some of them died might have been the /Construct/...he might have been there that day. But I(Sage) didn't see him. I was just fine.

I'm(Sage) always fine.

Edit: Took a tranquilizer. Got some control back. Restored the entry with the proper demarkation. I feel better and the world is a little more organized. Alphabetized my books and DVDs. Enforcing a strict order upon my world, makes it feel less oppressive.

The Door Opens soon...

If I'm quick I can put a microphone nearby it.