Thursday, September 23, 2010


Ever since I mentioned Alexis(Victim) she's been in my mind for the entire day. Not sure if it was just generic guilt and regret or if it was a -compulsion- caused by /Construct./  Either way, I need to return to the original Focus, so I have to talk about her here. That way she'll be in the record and I wont have to dwell on her memory more than I have to.

Alexis(Victim) was my cousin. She was pretty much a standard 20-something College Dropouts, like all the others. Pretty enough to qualify for the label of 'attractive' but not her main attribute. Very active in athletics, and possessing of an exceptional sense of humor, even though her laugh sounded like a dying cat being dragged across a chalkboard that's been embedded with broken shards of glass. Average student, had serious attendance issues, and just dropped out of college due to lack of academic prowess and the inability to keep to a schedule.

Returned home, got cashier job at a Department Store, moved out to apartment, lived typical life with mild hedonistic actions coupled with a rather depressing amount of debt. Typical for both Alexis'(Victim) life/personality/character. Rotating significant others, nothing serious, didn't understand concept of difference that 'Falling in Love' and 'Being in Love' are two separate feelings. Disliked me(Sage), as she saw me as an arrogant elitist prick.

Which I am.

One of Alexis'(Victim) boyfriends(Unknown, but if I ever find him I'm going to express my displeasure to him with the utilization of golfing equipment) introduced her to the /Construct/ and all the other recordings and journals related to Him, knowing that she often found things like that to be amusing. She laughed at it and then waved it off as just another nonsensical internet thing.

One week later her -visitations- began.

If you are here in research to the /Construct/ then you know all the typical symptoms. Signs of Illness, Paranoia, Compulsion to record everything through either video or journal (Journal in her case. I looked through them. Nothing helpful, just typical ramblings and drawings. I have burnt them to avoid anyone else exposing themselves to the /Concept/ and becoming aware and -noticed- by Him.), loss of Memory, and blackouts.

All the while she was being stalked by /Construct/ through nocturnal appearances within her home, and daytime appearances at a distance.

I think the erratic behavior concerning appearances should be examined, see if there's any correlation between aggressive/passive activity and location of appearances. If I can determine that the /Construct's/ appearances aren't always coupled with a physical prese

Ah, damn. -Compulsion- is making me write about things I need to keep secret. Can't delete it either, find myself experiencing extreme nausea and near paranoia/nervous breakdown when I attempt to delete. Record this, and keep focus. Alexis(Victim), just think about Alexis(Victim) and don't consider anything else.

Alright...Alexis(Victim), she began to be stalked, and she went seeking help. Others didn't believe her. I didn't believe her...but I said I did so I could do something so much worse.

I observed her. I wanted to document her condition, what I thought was a condition, and write it up so I could get into a proper medical journal and not have to work in this God-forsaken medical call center all day dealing with Insurance Hell.

She got worse. He stalked her more. I just watched and fed her fear and paranoia...then in the end she committed an /Act of Despair./

Soon after that, the /Construct/ started to stalk me.