Sunday, February 27, 2011

Stable

Look up Wallace Shawn's essay 'Fever' that's about how I feel right now.

Reach and Tony are gone. No idea where. Best if I don't go and find them. As much as I have distaste for M's methods, his rule on groups has merit.

I do have to say something though. The Core Theory has a flaw. A damn big one. I know, I've seen proof in Fairfax that it's something viable, that it's got some merit. But it's...it's like trying to hit an exact frequency with unlabeled dials that occasionally change their tuning...and right now redlight has their hands on one of them.

Some of the strongest supporters of the Core Theory, from nearly the beginning, were redlights. My data is corrupted in almost every point.

I have to start over.

I'm okay with that. I have a lead.

Let me be struck down with insanity again and again and again. I keep coming back. I'll keep coming back and I'll keep trying to stop them and ---. Maybe eventually I'll break, but everytime I piss them off, every kid I stop --- from getting, every time I cause him pain, I win. I'm not the hero and I'm not the warrior, I'm the goddamn Sage, and every time I get us one millimeter closer to beating them, no matter HOW many steps they drag me back, then I've done what I've needed to do. And I'm going to keep doing it. --- can't kill me, not sure why, but that means that it's going to be ME in the crowds, stalking HIM!

Reach, Tony, thanks for the save. You wont find me when you get back. You will find a duffle bag filled with cash and the keys to my nicer apartment. Good luck with Ava.

I need to find Alexandria.
Yes redlight and flunkies. I know about Her.
And doesn't that just piss you bastards off?