Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Gory Details

So, here I am in a nice hotel, showered, bandaged, well-fed, and again hooked up to a wifi that's far too expensive for its own good. A moment of peace and tranquility. Yeah, don't worry I know it's too damn good to be true and that's why I got a new bat. Cricket this time. Thought I'd pay a little nod of solidarity to the Librarian. Plus, I can't wait to hear the sound it's gonna make on that prick's skull.

Anyway, you want to hear about the great grand and glorious escape. Alright. Well, it started with me in total despair, staring at my collection of Canned Foods You Never Really Eat Are Not Sure When You Got And Usually Give Away On Thanksgiving, you probably have one too. I stared at a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli that had flames on the label (Spicy Italian, told you these were old cans). Then I got the idea.

Really, it was more of a 'If I'm going down...' kind of thing. I was in a dark place, and (so I thought) alone. Also I think redlight had been watching Fight Club in the living room for the umpteenth time (More mind games, trust me, he and me are two VERY different people) and that's where I got the idea.

I got out a pot and started to make myself some of that ravioli. But I cranked up one of the other burners on my gas stove further. Past the auto-lighter quick enough that it didn't turn it on. Then I left the pot to boil and the gas to leak, and got to the other side of the room and put the kitchen table on its side to put it between me and the stove. I half-prentended to have another fit of rage and despair, tossing things and crying/screaming, ending with a fetal position crouch.

It honestly was not as impressive as you might think it would be. After what seemed to be far far too long there was a FWHOOMP a flash of light, and suddenly all those papers with scribbles, the torn wallpaper, and some semi-nice window curtains that I got at IKEA were up in flames. The fire alarm went off, and redlight ran into the room.

That's when I jumped him. I felt something...graze the feeling you get when you almost have a headache? I don't know. I think it was redlight trying to put me under again (Yeah, watch out, the bastard's got special tricks from ---) but he couldn't do it. I think I know why.

Halloweds lose their juice when they're afraid.

Either way the guy was strong enough to smash his elbow into my nose. But I grabbed my pot of boiling ravioli and wailed on him with it. He staggered back dazed, and then I grabbed his left arm (I was going a bit primal here) and I shoved it down the garbage disposal and flicked on the switch.

He screamed and pulled his hands out after just three seconds, but I saw his hand. It wasn't mangled or nasty, it just looked like someone had hacked at his fingers with a potato peeler a bit. He just ran off after that, like the coward we all know he is.

By then the fire was...pretty bad, it had gotten to other rooms in the house, smoke was thick, air was thicker. I was pretty sure I was going to die. Remember third grade fire safety, I dropped to the ground and started to crawl to the door. My nose bleeding, apparently my ears were bleeding too (From the report at the hospital), and I'm pretty sure some part of my clothes were slightly on fire now as well. I cleared out of the kitchen, and then I saw ---.

--- was just standing there in the hall. No tentacles, no creepy mental sounds, no whispers, just me on the floor, and --- standing there. (Oh, by the by, it's NOT a tie. That 'lapel' area? It...throbbed.) I look at ---, and --- tilts ---'s head to 'look' at me.

We can debate from now until forever on how smart it is, if it's actually malevolent or not, and a thousand other ideas of its nature. That thing looked at me, and I think...

Zeke...I know this will probably make no sense to you but I have to the warehouse did you see or hear the black leaves?

It's probably a lingering hallucination, ignore it if it doesn't make sense.

Anyway, someone must have seen the fire and called 911, because I hear sirens then. --- just walked away, deeper into my house, but it didn't take a genius to know that --- was gone.

I passed out then, and woke up in the hospital.

And now you know the rest of the story.