Sunday, January 23, 2011


Okay, so...I read up on everything that I've supposedly done. Apparently I went a little crazy, and the minor I took in Mythology sort of caused me to go crazier. Jungian archetypes mixed in with a little pseudoscience and a lot of hysterical bullshit. Interesting stuff, but mostly self-aggrandizing crap. Hype and propaganda.

Of course that might have been the point. Or not. I'm not that person anymore, nor am I that person in the notes.  For those who ask, you saw them earlier. I've checked the cache on this blog. I've also change the password to try and keep redlight out.

I hope so at least. I want to try and disprove the theory that redlight and myself are the same entity. (Lord I hate Fight Club for making that a cliche...still a good movie though) Right now I sadly don't have any evidence. Well...nothing that disproves the theory at least. I only see him when I'm alone, and he doesn't interact with anyone else online, while I'm also active.

Episodes of DID and Time Loss are common experiences around...I dislike using the Entity's proper name for some reason still, but I don't want to return to /Construct/ as that way lies lunacy. I'll just use --- instead. Reduce him to an Abstract, although I want to look into the significance of redlight's He That Is title.

Anyway, I'm also experiencing incidents of uncontrollable coughing. Another common occurrence, but...I have a plan. Apparently, for a while, the Title system, and immersing myself into the identity of...well...whatever I was...was enough to protect me a little from the effects of --- presence and attention.

Also, memetic weapons work as a form of protection. The Fire Extinguisher worked too for a while. I have a new theory, looking over my notes.

Weapons cannot work. It's a classic trait of Monsters, blades breaking upon it's back, scales impervious, etc.

Memetic 'weapons,' the Operator Symbol, and the Fire Extinguisher worked. These are not weapons. These are Defensive Tools. Items that install a sense of safety, security, and protection.

I have an emergency first aid kit in my house. Inside it is one of those little unfold-able thermal blankets. During a coughing fit, accompanied by minor delusions (Voices, Whispers, small specks of light, etc.) I got it out and wrapped it around me. The effects subsided after two minutes and did not return.

This is probably a temporary item, as are all elements currently. However, I'm certain that similar items will have similar effects, possibly.

No sightings of either --- or redlight.
Have experienced an estimated time loss of 30 minutes.
I keep hearing voices, if it's redlight or ---, or my own voice when I was completely insane...I don't know.

It says I can't escape. I dream of an old man in an asylum, regaining his sanity only to be driven mad again and again. Watching as corpses pile up around him...impotent and helpless. Worse than useless. Leading people to their doom...and --- keeps me alive...because I'm it's greatest ally...

Ugh, have to stop. Regain composure...unable to delete this crap though. Nausea and coughing fits otherwise...damn it.

Keep working. It's my only option. It's my only fate.