Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Okay, Robbie told me to post this when I got pinged by his blog. Keeping out of this stuff. Too weird for me.

The problem is to find that point where a person starts to begin to...I don't have the right term for it. Hard to think. Don't know how long this lucid period will last, so need to make the most of it. It's a concept of one's place in the universe I suppose. I am who I am. I exist in this current time. I understand the world to this extent.

Maybe that's why He's so frightening. The Lovecraftian concept taken to a new height. Back then, the concept that humanity was not only alone in the universe, but insignificant as well, was terrifying and unsettling. That is why Lovecraft was so effective. Now that concept has been more...tolerated...by society. So it's lost it's sting.

Now there's Him. He can be anywhere, He is Unstoppable, and you end up losing your own spot in the universe...subjugated and sublimated by Him. You are not insignificant...you are just powerless. An eternal line of 'Opening Scene Victims' in a horror movie. That's frightening. That sense of powerlessness. The point of the Core Theory is to change that, or at least alter it.

My father and my uncle used to use chess to decide who had to muck out the stables (They grew up on a farm.) and my father would lose a lot. So he studied, and trained, and learned. Then he won one game, then another, and then a whole week.

The next week my uncle said 'Now we're going to play darts.'

Of course, that does me no good if He's the one dictating what game I play, and messing with my mind.

I have an idea though. Looking into Sartre. Specifically Nausea. Well...for the few hours of the day that I still have my mind. (Haven't noticed a pattern in the timing. Not yet, at least. Try to record that as well.)