Stable

Look up Wallace Shawn's essay 'Fever' that's about how I feel right now.

Reach and Tony are gone. No idea where. Best if I don't go and find them. As much as I have distaste for M's methods, his rule on groups has merit.

I do have to say something though. The Core Theory has a flaw. A damn big one. I know, I've seen proof in Fairfax that it's something viable, that it's got some merit. But it's...it's like trying to hit an exact frequency with unlabeled dials that occasionally change their tuning...and right now redlight has their hands on one of them.

Some of the strongest supporters of the Core Theory, from nearly the beginning, were redlights. My data is corrupted in almost every point.

I have to start over.

I'm okay with that. I have a lead.

Let me be struck down with insanity again and again and again. I keep coming back. I'll keep coming back and I'll keep trying to stop them and ---. Maybe eventually I'll break, but everytime I piss them off, every kid I stop --- from getting, every time I cause him pain, I win. I'm not the hero and I'm not the warrior, I'm the goddamn Sage, and every time I get us one millimeter closer to beating them, no matter HOW many steps they drag me back, then I've done what I've needed to do. And I'm going to keep doing it. --- can't kill me, not sure why, but that means that it's going to be ME in the crowds, stalking HIM!

Reach, Tony, thanks for the save. You wont find me when you get back. You will find a duffle bag filled with cash and the keys to my nicer apartment. Good luck with Ava.

I need to find Alexandria.
Yes redlight and flunkies. I know about Her.
And doesn't that just piss you bastards off?

Back

Yeah, you two...just go. Do whatever. I'll stay here, don't worry. I just...need some time. Head's still cloudy, and I'm gonna go through a big ass withdrawal from being doped up so much for so long.

I remember a some important things though.

First: redlight is WAY smarter than we thought.

Two: There's a reason for that.

Three: It's a title, NOT a singular person. There's more than one redlight. 

Four: They all dress the same and sound the same, but it's a trick. Voice changer, and they described their look JUST for that reason. The one I clobbered wasn't the one who schooled Reach, and the one in Ireland isn't the one in Fairfax. It also explains the 'no memory of who they are' thing.

Five: They communicate with each other but it's not telepathy. They can't talk to each other, but there's a data exchange. Unsure on specifics.

Six: This data exchange isn't solely real-time. You wanna know how redlight played us? They knew our moves BEFORE HAND.

Seven: More redlight in the 'network' the stronger it is.

Eight: Guess what their plan for Cynthia and Eva is?

Nine: They're undoubtedly working towards freeing themselves from ---'s control. They're behind the schism.

Ten: They hate you Reach. More than you can possibly imagine.

Good news: We're not totally screwed. It's not a perfect prediction system. The one watching me complained about 'Variables shifting' 'Outdated Information' 'Ruined Scenarios' and 'High probability.'

So, NEVER take a redlight lead, NEVER follow redlight...and if you see or even THINK that you're involved with a redlight then bail. They lead us around and fit us into their scenarios, act randomly and they have to start all over. Matt? Shut up, yes you were right. Congratulations.

Now, I'm gonna go pass out for a bit.

Can't Read My...Can't Read My...Can't Read My Poker Face!

You all play chess...I'm fond of shogi, especially the bit where you can turn your opponent's  captured pieces against them.

I'd thought I'd give all of my friends and well-wishers a fond farewell. Cynthia's favorite Big Bro and Big Sis will be dropping off the grid for a bit. Errands and what not. Don't worry, we'll be back and you'll certainly see us around. So, I'll leave this space back up for ol' Rob when he gets better...and then worse...and then better...and then worse...well you know that shtick already.

Anyway, everyone else be good. Listen to Cynthia, I gave her instructions and she's in charge now when you aren't obeying He That Is.

Leave Robbie, Reach, Tony, and pretty much ALL of the Fighters/Keepers/Runners alone. I'm calling for a full pullback. Don't go near them. Don't taunt them. DON'T attack them. Pull away entirely. No trails to follow, no threads to grasp. Actually...yeah, how often in life can one be able to pull off a quote like this?

With apologies to Roddenberry for my changes...

(clears throat and puts on best Ricardo Montalban accent)

I've done far worse than kill them, I've HURT them. All of them. And I wish to go on...hurting them. So I shall leave them...marooned in their misery, as He That Is takes them one by one, marooned with their dead plans...a dead hope, buried with their misery...buried alive.

Rika! If you so much as touch Cynthia again, they will find you on the I-5...for at LEAST five miles. She can talk to whomever she likes on the blogs. You do NOT get your teeth back either.

Good news!

Yep, good news for everyone. Those morons who tried to hurt Ava's mother became aware that they need to re-evaluate their role in the world of He That Is. There are rules, which is why I was allowed to be, to search around the rules...and now I am doing just that.
A few more loose cannons, Revenant and Proxy are now firmly in my network. I might have to put together a cocktail party so we can all get to know each other. They gather together, under me...I will bring them what they want. None of us want to return to human filth...so I will make a new option.
In two days Robert's not going to have a care in the world anymore. Finally. You know, it's slated for early on Sunday, so tick tock heroes. I hate him, and I hate Reach, burning triumphant while being whole and intact. I will kill Reach one day...but Robert...so useful...but I have to obey my orders...to an extent.
And best of all, I got my Little Sis back! We're watching Pinky and the Brain cartoons with Rob. I also got Cynthia her own hoodie! An adorable looking pink one. I do this for her, for Letterman, for those that have no names anymore.
Anyway, I'm in too good of a mood to taunt or heckle or anything like that. In fact, hey, how about a deal? Zeke? You want me to deal with Fisk? He's kind of an ass, and reminds me FAR too much of that monster Connaghan...Connahan...whatever that shithead's name was. He isn't important anymore anyway. You killed him, He That Is dealt with the rest of him, and I picked up the scraps. Little threads here and there, pull them together, to pull myself and the others away.
As always, all I ask for is a 'please.'

Identity

You know, I'm...ashamed. What kind of parents are you? The role of the parental figure is to provide for the child. Parents are supposed to be willing to put up their lives, their beings, their souls, every single bit of their existence, their entire identity all for the sake of their children.

You couldn't live with the guilt and the shame of having to sacrifice for your girl. Rob here wasn't able to make things easy. So it was either keep your girl by your side, safe, healable, and eventually happy or send her back to He That Is...and believe me when I say this, those that are guarding her now care FAR less for her well-being than I did.

The blood of an innocent on your hand, the guilt of living with that, the inability to look yourselves in the mirror. You couldn't pay that price. So, you go to bed, chiding yourself on your failings but secure in the hope that you'll save her again, or that you'll rescue Rob here and he'll come up with a plan. You even feel good about yourselves that you made the righteous choice.

You ever read the Picture of Dorian Gray? The guy who's picture gets nastier and nastier as he gets older and does wicked things? Anyway, Dorian has this choice to seduce this innocent girl who is infatuated with him. By this time his portrait is looking rather vile, so Dorian gently rebuffs the girl and leaves her be. Assured that this deed of temperance and humility will undoubtedly make his picture look less vile. When he returns home and gazes upon his illustrated visage however...it looks WORSE. For now there's a smug smile of hypocrisy on his painted face. I can only imagine the smirks on Tony and Cathy's painted masterpieces.

I have a memory of a mother who gave up a neighbor's child to He That Is, in order to save her own. She lived with that guilt for the rest of her life, confessed to priests, did penance, and still felt unclean about it for the rest of her life. Her child is fine.

Hell, when I explained my game with Reach, he demanded that he be pushed in. Swore at me one way and down the other. He said he'd do anything. I jokingly threw out that I'd let him go if he killed Robert with his bare hands. He said yes. I upped the ante and moved to Ava. He hesitated, but he said a soft yes. Then I went all in and offered his daughter's freedom if he killed Cynthia. It took a long long time, but he nodded.

Now if he would actually DO it if I released him, is another question all together. But I'm proud to have known him, oh and don't hold it against him Ava. He's a good parent, and a great catch. I'm not jealous, we'll always have the Needle...and the steak knife.

I'll try to get Cynthia back under my wing. But I will never give her back to her genetic origins now.

Anyway, while Rob and I sit here. I'd thought I'd reveal a huge secret...who is that dashing rogue in rouge? Is he Jay? King of the needle and acid brain bath? Well...sadly, I have to pull a Shamalamadingdong twist on you folks.

I have no idea.

I could be Jay, I could be one of Reach's neighbors from the old country, I could be one of the HYBRIDs now corrupted and hurled back through time to mess with you all...okay probably not that...but the point is that I have no memory of my life that wasn't chained in servitude to He That Is. Even those are murky. I have a face, but no ID, I tried to get fingerprinted tested...and no results. There is nothing to me but this. Cynicism and slavery.

Course, I could be lying. That's the beauty of these blogs though, isn't it? We can make ourselves look all nice and pretty, type up codes that make us look clever, and play the hero without the world seeing the dirt and grime underneath. Trust me, there's foulness in everyone. No saint is a saint. I mean, you all adore Rob here...but do any of you really know him? Have you seen what's on his computer in his 'naughty files'? Aren't you curious as to why a grown man likes to walk by a children's playground every day, even though there's faster routes? Zeke...well...where do I start? I've read all those IA reports my friend. Cathy and Tony...well...you know about them already. Reach and Ava? Huh, you know what kind of horrible things Reach has done? And trust me, he may have been ordered...but he enjoyed them. I'm sure Ava has more than a few skeletons as well, give me some time and I'll find 'em.

Anyway, eagerly awaiting to see what you're gonna do to help Robert here. Wouldn't surprise me if you did nothing. Didn't he say it? 'The hero always dies at the end?' Well...he wont be dead...but I doubt if it'll make a difference at that point. I have a memory of holding a young girl...she's crying that she's afriad to go to sleep because she might not wake up. She's not seen by He That Is...she's just realized that one day she'll die, and it terrifies her. I hold her, and never say that I feel the same way.

Was it good for you too?

You know, if you WANTED some of my Mac'n Cheese dear, you just could have ASKED.

Enjoy babysitting Little Sis. Although, here's my prediction...she's going to come back to her big bro's team, by her own free will. Cathy and Tony are not good people, and they're worse parents.

Give Reach my best, have fun with that whole thing where you feel your body dying all around you. (Yes, I just referenced the Last Unicorn, what of it? Cynthia asked to see a movie last night.) Here's for the best, and invite me to the wedding, okay?

Anyway, the proxies and other lovely folk icing themselves over our little custody disagreement? As much as I love the idea, and enjoy to take credit...and you know I LOVE to take credit...it's not me. It's either some other Revenant trying to earn favor, or part of He That Is acting up out of disappointment. I don't know. I don't care. As the song goes 'Let the bodies hit the floor.' I have to apply MORE Bactine to my hand. Although, I admit the red hoodie with black operator symbol on hood/red-green-black camo pants/black sneakers/and bandaged hands are probably going to do wonders for my fanart/cosplay inclined fans.

Dear Hoz...I'd love a song. Something either big and broadway or jazzy that swings. I mean...this is the villain's song right? Everyone KNOWS that it's the best part of the show!

Now...what am I forgetting...what am I forgetting...OH! Riiiiight! Robbie! Yeah, poor guy's all tired and sleeping...a long day of vacant stares and drooling will do that to you.

Hey here's a joke, I'll let you figure out the punch line.

How are Robert and I different?

Well...on Sunday I'll be out drinking and will have a bottle in front of me,
but Robert on Sunday will be in the hospital and have a...

Can you guess?

Happy Times at Fairfax

You know...I'd like to share a funny little observation I've seen humanity do.

You never blame the right person.

Cathy's ex-husband runs away to save his wife and daughter and keeps He That Is away from them for years on end, he suffers and is alone and often in pain. In the end, of course, his efforts are for naught and Wifey and dear little Cynthia are taken into our happy community. There's a lot of hooplah, and lo and behold there's a climatic scene in the woods where hubby comes to the rescue of his dear maiden.

Yes there's a lot of extra emotional baggage, but at the core that's what happened.

Now, does dear sweet wifey thank hubby for his sacrifice? Thank him for trying to protect his family? Thank him for saving her life?

Nope!

She brains him and blames him for the whole thing.

You would be so surprised at how many times I see it. He That Is takes a child, the parents SEE Him...and what do they do?

They tear each other apart.

'It's your fault' 'You should have protected her' 'You should have believed her' 'You should have been there'

Over and over and over again.

Never once is He That Is blamed, never once do they fault the Revenants, never do they look up into the sky and blame God. Nope! It's always the person that's closest, that's easiest to blame, that will take your endless abuse with a smile and a wave.

It's pathetic, and it's why Cathy will have to grow old and die without ever getting her girl back.

She doesn't deserve her.

Oh, but don't worry Cathy! Cynthia's good and safe with her 'big brother' watching over her. I'm teaching her so many things.

Like tonight for instance, the lesson was 'What happens to people who are stupid' with Uncle Robbie as the special teacher's aide!

Normally I'd have Robert give a lecture, but he was just too doped up, sitting there limp in the chair while Cynthia sat in his lap. (It was SOOO cute. I took a picture!) She even doodled an Operator Symbol on his green hospital scrubs. He just drooled. I thought it was rude. Anyway, we had to leave, but I left a good amount of folks around him to make sure he, or anyone else, didn't help himself out of his condition.

Ava, I want you to remember my lesson though. Because, all those others who survived the fire? The other people who got hurt? They will not blame He That Is, and they certainly wont blame me. They'll blame you. Doesn't matter what the truth is. Oh, and if you'd like to get me a valentine gift of my own? I LOVE peanut brittle.

Reach, buddy! Your Catherine is SUCH a good sport. Now, she's rather upset, and in denial but there's one more thing you need to remember.

She's in Ireland.
You're not.
And He That Is now Sees her.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I am a very busy man, and I only get a few moments to relax and work on my chess game.

Regards,

r

Problem Solved

Sir, don't worry about Sagel anymore. After he got out of surgery he started babbling again. The doctors have committed him to Fairfax Asylum. He'll be out of the way for a good long while, and odds are that they'll keep him doped up too.

Sir...please don't be angry. He jumped me and tortured me! I thought he'd die on the Path, or drown, or that it just wouldn't work! Please...I promise I'll keep him locked up in the loony bin. Please don't have Him drain me.

Holy crap...my lungs still burn like hell, two broken ribs and the rest are cracked, and my left hand is smashed. Also, when I got to he emergency room, my left eyeball was dangling from it's optic nerve. I forgot about the problems that come with the pressure difference.
Reach is still out cold in my hotel room tub. He's bleeding, blue, frostbitten, and not moving, but a revenant has...hell if I know. Still...I think he has a chance.
No idea about the innocent. Didn't see her or redlight, didn't see the surface either. But if redlight's babble was anything accurate, he's not allowed to break the rules of his deals. Not without losing his free will to ---.
Letterman's gone, probably going to be hunted down by redlight.
The morals of this story?
1) Humans should not use the Path of Black Leaves for anything more than a minute.
2) Screw you redlight.
3) I am a stupid stupid stupid man...but I'm also damn lucky.

Make this quick, no time to explain in detail.
If you've been following Reach's blog, you know the deal.
I got my hands on the Letterman Jacket Revenant, and I have a plan.
A stupid stupid stupid plan...

Tell redlight to push in Reach.

The quicker the better. The timing on this has to be PERFECT and I'll only get one shot.

Powers above

I am very very drunk. I am also...speanding about five minutes making sure I haven't misspelled anything.

I'm also damn happy cause guesss who beat off the bastard agtain? Wait...that sounded kinda bad. I mean I got him to run away. Yeah, that's it Slendy, take off and don't come back or I'll sing more Journey songs at youy!

Maybe I should explain.

Okay, I'm in the lobby of the hotel, and I just finished calling Sophie at work (She's fin BTW tottally unaware.) and I see HIM again, across the way by this pillar. Usual stalky stuff, no one else sees him but me...and these little tourist family kids, I think they sorta saw him cause one's crying but ones all spacey.

So, I walk into the hortel bar. The bastard prefers my discomfort and fear as apposed to kids. Not sure why. I still fear him you know. You can't see the Black Leaves and not...

He's not just Death. I mean we all know we're gonna die, but we don't KNOW it...cept around him. But there's something more. He's the random cruelty of the Uncaring Universe. There's nothing to stop him, not for long...we run, fight, hide, and nothing works. He still comes and we still die, or we lose our minds trying to understand that stuff. I mean...how can we stand it? It's the shadows on Aristotle's wall or something...was it Aristotle?

Damn I'm drunk.

Anyway, so I'm in the bar and SLendderman follows me in, just standing there watching me ignore him with the help of six or seven scotches...and it's working rather well. It's also Kareoke night at the hotel, there's some college kids, Japanese business men, and a bachelorette party. People are singing, and I decide to throw caution, and my liver, to the wind. What's he gonna do? Kill me for singing out of tune?

Probably best that I didn't think avbout that art the time.

Anyway, I go up, and I just hit the random 'greatest hits' button, and then that piano intro we ALLL know and love starts up, and I belt out that song I love (BEFORE it was on Family UGy, the Sopranos or glee damnbit) and it was probably the scotch but I was doing the best version I've ever did.

And the entire crowd joined in. About 30ish poeple joined in song, fun time.

Slendy ignored my singing...but when everyone joined in on the first Niiiiiiiight it started to twitch. By the time the Movie Never Ends...he was spasming like crazy...and then he RAN. Wrapped his tenticles around his head, like he was blockingout the sound and RAN.

And now I'm here...and I give thanks to the Prime Mover.
People always mistake it when I talk about the Prime Mover, they think I'm talking about God...and I am., but I'm not. The universe started as a big ball of STUFF (Maybe, I donwanna fight you if you don't buy htat) and then that ball went BOOM and now that STUFF is Everything. The force or action that caused A to become B was the Prime Mover. Maybe it was outside, maybe it was from within...but it's the thing I think that lets some poeple roll 6 10s in a row in Craps. Peopl;e think that the Prime Mover is out to get us...no no no I don't think that. The Universe is just so...BIG and RANDOM and CRUEL...but there are little things.

M's continued survival.
Zero's glory.
All those damn Proxies we've smashed.
Zeke's...well...jsut Zeke.
My continued surivval.

You can;t stop the Universe or Death from being capricious or cruel, and Slendy's just another facet of that (Not Death itself though, that guy's a connsumate professional as weall know.) But the Prime Mover is there...helping us...it can't change the Universe. Nothing can...but it helps us...it wants us to win...and somethimes we roll a hard 10 and win. So tonight I toast to the Prime Mover. May it watch over us and helpus...as it is.

Or maybe I'm just really realyl drunk.

Black Leaves

Weird occurrence today.
I'm close enough to the store to walk there and back to my hotel, but it's still about eight city blocks both ways. A walk, but I like it. Fresh-ish air, exercise, outside among people, etc.

Anyway, I'm on block two on the way back. I make a turn, and I groan. It looked like another delusion. Dead quiet street. No one in sight. The trees on the sidewalk are filled with Black Leaves. I just ignore it, note the time on my watch, and keep walking. I'm nearing the end of the block when I see, across the street Orange Letterman Jacket again. (My new stalker I suppose, anyone see this guy before?) He does a double take when he sees me. Shouts 'How the Hell? Oh shit, I left it open!' and tries to run across the street. I pick up the pace and turn the block.

I'm suddenly back in the normal world. Talking people, cars, normal trees, etc. I'm also right in front of my hotel. That's six blocks traveled in a few minutes. I checked my watch. No lost time.

What the hell happened? Where the hell was I?

Moving apart

Alright, this is good. Got a lot of data to sort through, have a bunch of people to contact, going to take a bit to send out all those messages. Also, apologies on using the coalition term, poetic license and I needed to use one of those terms. No names. No Titles. Nothing like that. That's not what this is.

Zeke, next time you see that bastard, hurt him. Also, be careful with that stuff he left. It's not going to be 100% bullshit and traps. Probably mixed in just enough truth to let you hang yourself.

Got a tip about the 'Playhouse.' A Revenant in an orange letterman jacket and orange hat with reflective safety tape on it 'dropped' it after 'stalking' me. It's easier to spot them now I know what to look for. It's their skin. It's wrong. Too tight in some places, loose in others, and their cheek bones twitch too much. Reach probably knows why this happens.

Anyway, the guy 'dropped' it when ran when he saw that I had seen him. It's a map with a bunch of places circled and scribble code. One of them is written normally as 'Playhouse.'
It's a trap. Obviously. I'm not going.

But...it doesn't feel like ---. None of this recent Revenant activity does. It's weird.
I mean, heavens know that there are still plenty of Hallowed around that act as 'standard' but the Revenants are becoming more and more odd as they go along. Reach's rebellion. redlight's creativity. Attacking Thage even though she has a 'truce.'

They're developing their own codes, conducts, and even how they treat ---. Less as an absolute master and more as a semi-distant deity. Someone who they owe fealty and who is unquestionable...but not something that openly gives orders.

I think the Revenants are starting to schism. --- gave them too much free will in order to combat us. Now, 'human' nature is taking over...so to speak.

Now, whether or not this actually happens or not is up in the air. Also, no idea if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Still, something to consider.